Putting SEL in Self Care
I am a mother of two and I first started learning about social-emotional learning (SEL) when my oldest was just three. I read in parenting books that SEL was the key to preparing your child for success but I was unsure about it until I started seeing it in practice. I quickly learned that with a few strategies, he was able to manage big emotions and be a wonderful friend. Six years later and nearly, one year into a pandemic, I sit here reflecting on where I went wrong with myself. How am I managing big emotions? Have I been a wonderful friend?
If you’re not familiar, SEL programs are made up of teachable skills for the day-to-day that should be woven into every early childhood curriculum out there. Unfortunately, SEL standards are only mandated in 14 American states at this time. Its core competencies include self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision-making. As a work-from-home mom, I am more hyper-aware of these elements than ever before because things are so different than they were a year ago and life after COVID still seems relatively uncertain. Below are tips that leverage CASEL’s SEL core competencies to help you through your day, regardless of the challenges or uncertainty in your work/home, or work from home life. If anything, they will help you improve your productivity as you continue to work from home.
5 SEL tips for SELF Care
Self-Awareness: If I have learned anything in “covid times” it’s that almost nothing about my routine mirrors what it did a year ago. I go into health kicks, sad times, binge eat, binge watch, rinse and repeat. As the weeks go on, I have begun to focus on the choices that I am making at the moment that I am making them. I am actively asking myself “Is this routine helpful?” or “Why are you doing this?” Just living in the moment, helps you to take control back when you are feeling out of sorts. It will also bring focus and clarity around your actions which I find something that I have taken for granted for far too long.
Self-Management: For me, the most important activity is to ask for space and find a way to squeeze in some positive self-talk. It is important to pay attention to your thoughts and then how you convey them to others. If your space is noisy and you’re having a hard time being productive, take a deep breath, recognize why it’s happening and pivot your thought process. Maybe instead of yelling about it, you reorganize your day and focus on another task that may not need the same level of attention. Try to be flexible and remind yourself that being flexible was part of the plan all along.
Relationship Skills: Reflect on what went well in your day. When you identify your challenges, find people in your life that can help you manage them. Maybe it is asking for a hand on a work project or an extension on a deadline. Building on a relationship should be a part of your everyday life.
Social Awareness: On a conference call today, I had someone tell me, “Well, I don’t get it so I just don’t think we should do it”. At that moment, I thought, he could have said “what did you mean by that?” Anyone in human resources will tell you…instead of the knee-jerk reaction, choose empathy. Think about why he might have been confused and how you may be able to explain it better. Think about why his experience could lead him to where he was at that moment. What is vastly different than mine? Be an active listener and recognize that your perspective is rarely the only one that counts.
Responsible Decision-Making: Are you focusing on what’s most important in your life? Learn how to ask yourself “Is this worth it?”. Write it on a post-it. Put it on your monitor. Write it on your bathroom mirror. Ask yourself several times a day and see how your behavior might change. You may realize that you start finding more time for yourself when you start eliminating things that don’t actually matter.
At the end of the day, just being more aware of your “who, what, where, when, and why” is going to make it far easier to get to your “how”. How you are going to make it through a particularly challenging day or week is determined when you choose what is important and why. Take some time to think about that and ta-da, SEL has yielded you some self-care.
